Tag: confidence

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For Shame, Forbes: Tarnishing a Gem in the Crown of Social Progress and Gender Equity

As I write, 104,778 people have viewed the Forbes article on the “10 Worst Stereotypes about Powerful Women.”

I’m curious. What did people learn from reading this? And what will they do with this information so that we never have to see another article about this topic again?

If you have been reading my blog this week, you know about mounting evidence of the links among gender, career success, and professional confidence. A quick summary for new readers: you need confidence to succeed!

I fear women will read this article and – tacitly or explicitly – find reasons to doubt that they have the right stuff for leadership and lose more of the confidence they need to craft careers of success and significance. Who wouldn’t if you thought that half the folks around you (and most of the folks in power above you) were still projecting all this old negativity on you?

Men who read the piece can have seeds of doubt planted – or reinforced – about their female co-workers.

In a week when men and women should celebrate another symbolic gem in the crown of social progress and gender equity as IBM appoints its first woman as CEO – Virginia Rometty joins the growing ranks of mega-corporation leaders that now include Ellen Kullman at DuPont, Meg Whitman at Hewlett-Packard, Ursula Burns at Xerox, Indra Nooyi at PepsiCo – 104,778 (and counting) people are having a refresher course on how to dismiss half the world’s population – and hold back progress on a host of fronts for us all.

All the traditional stereotypes are on the Forbes list – and Forbes Online kindly provides a slide show for those who don’t want to read the full article. The slides are a mix of actresses in their portrayal of fictional characters from movies and TV (e.g., Meryl Streep as the “frigid magazine editor” in The Devil Wears Prada and Glenn Close as the “back-stabbing boss” in Damages) with real women who are doing really important work. Each picture represents one of the negative gender stereotypes. Here’s where my blood began to boil.

It includes an unattractive photo of our successful, current Secretary of State (emotional), as well as associations of negativity with the photo of our First Lady (angry), the Head of the International Monetary Fund (masculine), our former Secretary of State (token), the President of Costa Rican (weak), a former Vice Presidential candidate (cheerleader), and the list goes on.

If I thought people were reading this article and standing in outrage that these associations were still happening in the year 2011, I’d feel better. But why do I fear snickers as the pictures of Hillary Clinton and others are passed around the water cooler instead?  And I am not going to even touch the racial issues in all this.

Enough Forbes! Enough media!  Seriously. We need stories that build the confidence and capacities of men and women so that they can bring their full talents to the range of contributions needed to succeed – and for our economy to rebound – in a fast-paced, global world.

Planting seeds of doubt reinforces the very thing this article hoped to counter! 

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Leadership, Gender, and Confidence: Another Take

Another take on leadership, gender, and confidence from Jill Flynn, Kathryn Heath, and Mary Davis Holt, authors of the new book, Break Your Own Rules: How to Change the Patterns of Thinking that Block Women’s Paths to Power – and good advice for women and men seeking to increase their impact. 

The book is a fascinating read – and a recommendation that women finally discard the rules that have traditionally guided their leadership (and have been seen as women’s “strengths”). Women are a mere 11% of senior leadership in corporate American, and that number hasn’t changed in 30 years. The authors suggest it’s time to think seriously about how to make that change happen. 

Their advice: out with the old, please, and in with the new.  Reframe the everyday beliefs that women bring about how to lead and do themselves in the workplace.  For example:

Traditional approach: focus on others — New advice: take center stage

Traditional approach: seek approval — New advice: proceed until apprehended

Traditional approach: be modest — New advice: project personal power

Traditional approach: work harder — New advice: be politically savvy

Traditional approach: play it safe — New advice: play to win

Traditional approach: it’s all or nothing — New advice: it’s both-and

I’m not doing he book justice, but I want to get back to the confidence theme from my last post:

In a recent post of the HBR site, the authors assert they found – and “by a wide margin” – that the primary criticism men have about their female colleagues at work is that the women exhibit low self-confidence.

imageThe authors concede this may partly be perception — men can interpret a willingness to share credit or defer judgment as a lack of confidence. But they also note that there is plenty of research that suggests women feel less self-assured at work. See yesterday’s blog post, for one example. Another is a 2011 workforce study by Europe’s Institute of Leadership and Management that reports:

Men were more confident across all age groups: 70% of the men reported high or very high levels of self-confidence, compared to 50% of the women

Half of women managers admitted feelings of self-doubt about their performance and career, 31% of men reported the same

Lack of confidence makes women more cautious in applying for jobs and promotions: 20% of men said they would apply despite only partially meeting its job description, compared to 14% of women.

The authors turned to their own data and identified four specific low-confidence behaviors cited by male and female managers alike:

Being overly modest. Men are more willing to take public credit for their successes. Women believe their accomplishments should speak for themselves. They may – or they may be overlooked by all the busy people around them.

Not asking. Not asking means you’ve lost the chance to get what you need.  No more need be said on that one!

Blending in. The authors note that some women go to great lengths to avoid attention in the workplace. They want to do their work, stay professional, and wait to be appreciated.  A perfect strategy for remaining invisible!

Remaining silent. Don’t speak up and you won’t get in the conversation – or the game.

The author’s conclusion: Career momentum is not just about adding job skills. It’s about changing everyday thinking and behaviors.  Amen! 

Glad I could bring you these helpful insights. I ask you to share them – and this blog site – with others interested in improving their leadership.  I’d love to attract more readers – and I have plenty more to say about how to lead and how to lead for greater impact.

So how am I doing?  I’m practicing the suggested new behaviors!  Are you?

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Oprah Retires: May We All Go That Way

Oprah Winfrey retires with from her long-running daytime talk show today – and with plans for her next big challenge.  

After taping more than 5,000 episodes, she’s relieved to be moving on. In good Oprah fashion, however, she’s down-playing the pleasure out of respect for her show’s staff of 464 people (many of whom are now out of a job) and for the fans who adore her current venue.   

“I literally curb my enthusiasm for the end, because I realize that for the other people that are part of this experience, the end is a different experience than it is for me,” Oprah noted in a recent New York Times interview.[1]

Oprah is saying good-bye to a talk show, but not heading into the sunset or out of the industry. She’s moving to her next career phase: building her fledgling five month-old cable channel, OWN.

We can all learn something from Oprah about career self-management. She’s a self-made billionaire; a legend known to millions by her first name alone; a woman who understood the importance of creating and managing her own life, brand, and enterprise; and probably the most influential African American women in the United States.

Here are the lessons I’m taking from Oprah as she leaves network TV after 25 years.

Run your own race. No matter how good you are at something or how many people want you to continue doing what you do, when it’s no longer fun, have the courage to move on to something that is.

Be authentic. Oprah’s success has been attributed to her empathy, warmth, genuine curiosity, and humor. She morphed her talk show format over the years as it fit her interests and those of her evolving audience. She found ways to bring others along as she tackled tough issues that were deeply important to her, like racism, literacy, AIDs, women’s empowerment, sexual abuse, and more. Oprah wasn’t afraid to preach, confront, learn, or cry – and she transformed television and the lives of millions of viewers by some combination of all four.

Be smart, not beholding. Gender scholar Deborah Kolb has published widely on the topics of how poorly women negotiate for themselves and for the conditions to assure their success – and on what to do about that. Her book, Her Place at the Table: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success, is a classic. Oprah was a master at negotiating for her success. She understood the importance of artistic control – and wasn’t afraid to demand it at a time when women worried about losing media opportunities by rocking the boat (or gaining a few pounds).  

Believe in yourself – but stay grounded. Oprah demonstrated confidence in herself and her vision from the get go – even in the early days when she described herself as “just producing by the seat of my pantyhose.” [2] More important, she never let that confidence blind her to the work that needed to be done or what she still needed to learn. Star that she is, Oprah has always been a savvy business woman wed to the consummate student. That combination has served her well.

Take risks. Early ratings for Oprah’s OWN channel have been disappointing. What if she’s now lost the Midas touch? Undeterred, Oprah’s going to give it a try and give it her all. That’s all anyone can do.

Leave at the top of your game if you plan to continue in the sport. Oprah is a sensation on network TV. Her fans adore her. What a boost to spirit and creative juices to know that others love what you do – and want more.

[1] Brian Stelter (2011). Oprah Moves on to Her Next Best Life. New York Times. May 23, 2011, p. B1.

[2] Brian Stelter (2011). Oprah Moves on to Her Next Best Life. New York Times. May 23, 2011, p. B2.

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Raise your Joy Quotient (JQ): Step II – Using your Full Self

Nothing signals leadership like confidence, and those who seek influence are warned to develop theirs. It takes confidence to stand for something. It requires confidence to stay strong in the face of inevitable resistance and to listen carefully and openly to others’ concerns while advancing your own.

Confidence comes in two measures. One is basic – the self-assurance from having done your homework: knowing the situation you face, what you believe, what needs to happen, what you plan to do, and what you can anticipate. This part is tied to preparation, resolve, and readiness for action. Determination is its close companion.

A second part is more personal – and is the direct link to joy. It involves the unabashed and uncensored use of your talents, leveraging your full self with its full range of quirks, to your efforts. This is not advocacy to shoot from the hip and let it all hang out. Leadership is a strategic art and science. Rather, we increase our effectiveness – and raise our capacity for joy – when we implement our plans in ways that don’t stress and stifle us.

Students and executives too often come to leadership training and weigh themselves down with a self-imposed, heavy leadership mantle. In their search for more skill, impact, and effective, they get stiff and serious.  Seriousness about learning and making a difference is not the same as becoming rigid or downright dour in how you handle your professional self.  Nor does it mean that you’ll succeed by learning to be like someone else.

You have your best shot of success when you bring a light heart and confidence that you have something to offer. People will want to connect with you – and leadership, after all, is all about relationships.

Here’s where leaders – and leaders-in-training – can learn from artists who often exhibit a professional confidence and public comfort with their idiosyncrasies.

I’m very big these days on the PS22 5th grade Chorus from Staten Island. (See previous post. Check the Chorus out on YouTube. Mark your calendar to watch them on the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, February 27.)

As a leadership scholar, I like studying their leader, Gregg Breinberg.  Mr. B’s a terrific musician and teacher, no question about that. But I particularly enjoy his authenticity – he’s been clear about his vision, unyielding on his focus, and relating to the kids and audiences in the same manner since the Chorus’s founding.   The teaching point for leaders is his willingness to do whatever it takes to keep the Chorus positive, on key, and performing to their best – without feeling in any way self-conscious or as if he needs to become “more professional or serious” or to acquiesce to those with more status as the Chorus’s status rises.  Those who have watched him work describe his style as that of an “overgrown 5th grader.”  He is proud to claim his own “inner clown.”

“Watch my face. I can help you,” you hear repeated across rehearsal and performance tapes – and he’ll use his face, movements, body, humor, and energy the same whether he is in front of Oprah Winfrey, a famous musician who’s come to hear the Chorus, or the kids in the school auditorium during rehearsal.

No evidence of any worries about how to lead or of that nagging inner voice that leadership students report – the self-evaluations that keep them questioning themselves and just a little off-center.  Am I dressed for success? Am I doing it right? Do I have the right stuff? How will others respond? Am I leading yet? What will my boss think?  

So prepare, and then let go and act.  Be the leader you were made to be.  Give yourself the freedom to work in ways that fit your talents and style.  It’ll make your work — and life — more joyful.