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Real Leadership is Love

Happy Valentine’s Day. Today is the perfect day to reflect on an important leadership truth. Leadership is all about love.

It’s about devotion to a cause or an organization and the deep desire to contribute in important ways.

It’s about the satisfaction from true partnership and recognition that there is power and possibility in joining with others.

It’s about deep relationships and collaboration that result in the reciprocal learning at the heart of shared mission and purpose.

It’s about appreciation for others who are vital to advancing a mission.

It’s about the maturity to separate liking someone from recognizing that we owe everyone basic human respect and a willingness to work well with them to advance a common cause.

It’s about authenticity and bringing your true self to the work.

It’s about finding joy in the challenges and the experiences. (See my previous posts on raising your joy quotient).

It’s about commitment, hard work, hanging-in during tough times, and growing from the experience.

Leadership is all about love. Is love at the center of what you do?  What would need to change to make it so?

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Raise your Joy Quotient (JQ): Step III – Look Around with Different Eyes

The final step for raising your joy quotient is a variation on the old adage, bloom where you are planted.

Life doesn’t work such that most of us can pick up and find new opportunities to express our evolving talents. And sometimes we can find ourselves far down a path that seems, if anything, to be leading us further away from where we hope to be. But that doesn’t mean that we’re stuck in a joyless work life. It means that we’ll need to look at our current situation with different eyes to discover the untapped opportunities or experiences that can build toward others we want.

Part of this is attitude adjustment. Feel stuck and you are. See yourself as wasting time, and you will. How can you find ways to make the most of what you have until you go?

The other part is building your capacities for creative visioning and for recognizing hidden opportunities in everything you do. Where you are may be exactly where you need to be to fine-tune skills, get valuable experiences, or establish professional networks and supports.  Are you taking full advantage of all this?

Are you, for example, thinking about your current job in too limited a fashion? Are you really as constrained as you feel? 

Can a job that now uses too little of your true talents be redesigned?  Enriched?  Are there other opportunities in your organization that you want to alert folks of your interest in? Can current networks be used to enhance your reputation in other areas? Can volunteer opportunities at work or outside help you make progress toward your new goal?

The ability to look at the potential in events and situations and to see how they can be leveraged to help achieve your future plans can reframe a dead-in now into an important stepping stone for a brighter tomorrow.  There’s great joy in that.

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Raise your Joy Quotient (JQ): Step II – Using your Full Self

Nothing signals leadership like confidence, and those who seek influence are warned to develop theirs. It takes confidence to stand for something. It requires confidence to stay strong in the face of inevitable resistance and to listen carefully and openly to others’ concerns while advancing your own.

Confidence comes in two measures. One is basic – the self-assurance from having done your homework: knowing the situation you face, what you believe, what needs to happen, what you plan to do, and what you can anticipate. This part is tied to preparation, resolve, and readiness for action. Determination is its close companion.

A second part is more personal – and is the direct link to joy. It involves the unabashed and uncensored use of your talents, leveraging your full self with its full range of quirks, to your efforts. This is not advocacy to shoot from the hip and let it all hang out. Leadership is a strategic art and science. Rather, we increase our effectiveness – and raise our capacity for joy – when we implement our plans in ways that don’t stress and stifle us.

Students and executives too often come to leadership training and weigh themselves down with a self-imposed, heavy leadership mantle. In their search for more skill, impact, and effective, they get stiff and serious.  Seriousness about learning and making a difference is not the same as becoming rigid or downright dour in how you handle your professional self.  Nor does it mean that you’ll succeed by learning to be like someone else.

You have your best shot of success when you bring a light heart and confidence that you have something to offer. People will want to connect with you – and leadership, after all, is all about relationships.

Here’s where leaders – and leaders-in-training – can learn from artists who often exhibit a professional confidence and public comfort with their idiosyncrasies.

I’m very big these days on the PS22 5th grade Chorus from Staten Island. (See previous post. Check the Chorus out on YouTube. Mark your calendar to watch them on the 83rd Annual Academy Awards, February 27.)

As a leadership scholar, I like studying their leader, Gregg Breinberg.  Mr. B’s a terrific musician and teacher, no question about that. But I particularly enjoy his authenticity – he’s been clear about his vision, unyielding on his focus, and relating to the kids and audiences in the same manner since the Chorus’s founding.   The teaching point for leaders is his willingness to do whatever it takes to keep the Chorus positive, on key, and performing to their best – without feeling in any way self-conscious or as if he needs to become “more professional or serious” or to acquiesce to those with more status as the Chorus’s status rises.  Those who have watched him work describe his style as that of an “overgrown 5th grader.”  He is proud to claim his own “inner clown.”

“Watch my face. I can help you,” you hear repeated across rehearsal and performance tapes – and he’ll use his face, movements, body, humor, and energy the same whether he is in front of Oprah Winfrey, a famous musician who’s come to hear the Chorus, or the kids in the school auditorium during rehearsal.

No evidence of any worries about how to lead or of that nagging inner voice that leadership students report – the self-evaluations that keep them questioning themselves and just a little off-center.  Am I dressed for success? Am I doing it right? Do I have the right stuff? How will others respond? Am I leading yet? What will my boss think?  

So prepare, and then let go and act.  Be the leader you were made to be.  Give yourself the freedom to work in ways that fit your talents and style.  It’ll make your work — and life — more joyful.