Month: March 2018

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Kindness and Gratitude = Health and Happiness

Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have found that regularly practicing a phenomenon they call "loving kindness” can profoundly change your attitude, outlook, and health[1].

Even better, regular practice rewires the brain to be more present and kinder to yourself and others, giving your focus and mood an added daily boost.

Here are three simple practices to get you started.

1. Loving-kindness meditation (LKM)

LKM is a quiet, solo reflective practice that focuses thought on the heart region and encourages warm, tender thoughts about a loved one or cherished others. In one study, one hour of LKM a week led people to report greater positive emotions – love, contentment, joy, satisfaction – during their social exchanges with others.

The researchers also documented health benefits from regular practice of LKM that include:

  • Reduced pain and tension from migraines
  • Reduced symptoms of depression
  • Possibly slowing the aging process. Studies have found that women who practice LKM have longer telomeres, which are like little end-caps on your DNA. Shorter telomeres have been associated with faster aging.

Even small periods of practice can help. One study found a 10-minute session of LKM increased feelings of social connection and positive feelings toward others.

2. Acts of kindness

This one is exactly what you’d imagine. Intentionally set a goal to be kinder to others.

Strategies can be as simple as doing something nice or unexpected for a loved one or even a stranger. Hold a door open for the person behind you. Offer a warm greeting or smile when unexpected. Make a special effort to extend kind words to someone. Send a friend or family member a simple text or email message – or forward an article you think they might enjoy – to tell them you are thinking about them. Take a few extra minutes to help or listen more closely to another.

Regular acts of kindness make you feel good – and beget more kindness.

Neuroscientists have confirmed that thinking or acting kindly toward others activates the part of your brain that makes you feel pleasure. It also releases the hormone oxytocin that increases interpersonal bonding and feelings of enjoyment from social interactions — the higher your oxytocin levels, the kinder and more generous you may become.

3. Gratitude

Everyone has something good in life for which to feel grateful. What’s on your list? If the answer does not come easy, it’s time to start building your list, literally. One way to increase feelings of gratitude is to write them down in a hand-written or virtual journal.

Researchers have found that feeling thankful for life’s little blessings can improve sleep, diminish fatigue, increase confidence, and even lessen depression.

And keeping some form of a gratitude journal — writing down happy moments, beautiful observations, or people or things you’re grateful for in your life — has been found to improve biological markers of heart health.

Like any other skill set, expressing kindness and gratitude gets easier with practice – and the benefits multiply. Start slow and simple with activities such as

  • Spend a few minutes each day thinking positive thoughts about the important people in your life.
  • Reflect on your week and write down a few things you’re most grateful for. Why not keep some slips of paper and a gratitude jar on your bedside table: end your day by writing down one special something from your day and putting it into the jar. You’ll drift off to sleep with positive feelings about a special someone or something – and have a wealth of reminders for those times when you feel down or alone.
  • Set aside 10 minutes to sit quietly, meditate, or simply think warm tender feelings about a loved one  that comes straight from your heart.

The world – and your relationships – will be better for your efforts. And you just might become a happier and healthier you.

[1] HOUSECALL, Vol. 19, Issue 24, March 22, 2018. Accessed online March 22, 2018 at https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/how-sharing-kindness-can-make-you-healthier-happier/art-20390060/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=housecall

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Picasso, Windex, and Creative Leadership

Yesterday morning I washed windows. A cold winter led to a decision for inside storms on interior windows that border an unheated porch. Washing the windows wasn’t a big deal, but a job I put off. Then, an email announced the upcoming installation and a reminder that clean inside windows mean no need to remove the new storms anytime soon. I grudgingly left my desk, and got the Windex and paper towels.

Pablo Picasso reminds us it takes a long time to become young. I think I just learned something important about what he meant.

As I was spraying the Windex, I suddenly remembered how, as a young child, I begged my mother to let me wash the glass front door, and I turned it into a host of games.

I was a friend of Elroy on the “Jetsons,” and the Windex was my ray gun. I was Dale Evans, working with Roy Rogers to protect the Double R Bar Ranch from bandits. I was a museum employee, polishing the glass on a great work of art – and it needed to be spotless. I was a scientist doing important experiments: how long before the paper towel became too wet to clean without smudges? How much Windex was required to do the job without being wasteful? We had the cleanest front door in town! My mother was happy. And I had a blast.

So, yesterday I enjoyed the childhood recollections and spritzed away the morning with a smile. I played scientist again, and developed my own data-based tricks to maximize speed and quality – windows warmed by the sun needed a different wiping pace than the cold ones; cold windows needed drier paper towels than the warm; the edges of the panes needed special care and thorough drying, while clean damp centers seemed to take care of themselves. I complimented my inner child on her experimental design and mindfulness– and kept happily spritzing.

During rests, I took in the views. I watched a young mother stop and carefully lift her child from a carriage to look at an evergreen bough blowing in the wind. I saw how well the new robotic arm on our town’s garbage truck emptied the neighborhood’s heavy cans – saving, I’m sure, the precious backs of many a sanitation worker. I enjoyed two spirited Golden doodles romping down and around the sidewalk, repeatedly tangling their leashes to their walker’s dismay.

Then I suddenly found myself thinking in new ways about a grant application I was writing: phrases and data to include started to come freely. The idea for this blog post emerged, as did a playful list of leadership wisdom – useful ditties such as,

  • It’s more efficient to clean things up from the top down: dirty drips make a mess for the bottom and lead to a lot of wasted time and effort.
  • Sometime just in time is just fine.
  • Figuring out what’s on your side of the glass and what’s on the other is critical: if it ain’t your dirt to clean, you can polish to your heart’s content to no avail.

Play is the well-spring of joy and creativity for children and adults. It activates different parts of the brain, relaxes our defenses, and frees us to think outside current cognitive constraints.

There is plenty of research on the links among play, creativity, successful entrepreneurship, and the development of 21st century organizational skills. More than forty years ago, organizational guru Jim March  – in an extension of his work on decision making with Nobel Laureate Herb Simon — advocated for the vital role of playfulness in his landmark book with Johan Olsen, Ambiguity and Choice in Organizations.[1]  Play, according to March, is an antidote to the natural limits in how humans think: we may think we are  looking at all our options, but we only see those that fit within our mental models and beliefs about what the world is and how it works.

Escape is possible, continued March, if we let ourselves play — deliberately embrace “the power of sensible foolishness” in order to open our minds to new ways of thinking and being.

Play gets a negative rap in the adult world – “grow up,” “stop being such a child,” “quit playing around,” and the like.  Play, however, is a critical leadership skill when viewed as an essential complement, not an enemy, of rational thinking – a kind of “Mardi Gras of reason” that affords our minds a planned occasion for creative experimentation, relaxed reflection, free and unrestricted associations, and openness to innovative solutions just waiting to be found. 

How are you going to productively play today?  What project could use some innovative thinking?  What will enable you to free your creative mind?

[1] March, J. G. (1976). “The Technology of Foolishness” in March, J. G. and J. Olsen (ed.). Ambiguity and Choice in Organizations. Bergen, Norway: Universitetsforlaget.

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How Great Leaders Think: Gray and Free

It’s not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.[i]

― Albert Einstein

One of the most useful and innovative leadership skills I know is the ability to think gray and free. The idea comes from the late Steven Sample, engineer, professor, and successful, long-term president at the University of Southern California who transformed the institution during his nineteen years in office.

I love the process of thinking gray and free – it’s not easy but it works, is supported by neuroscience, can be taught, and stretches everyone’s creative potential. And it’s fun! Can’t get much better than that!

The rationale for learning to think gray and free goes something like this:

Problems are problems because what has usually worked in other situations does not work with what you now face. Those are the times you need to harness your creative best for breakthroughs in your thinking so you can identify fresh options. You need ways to break out of your cognitive ruts, but human nature doesn’t make that easy!

Under stress and in the face of major challenges, it is easy and almost automatic to rush to judgment in dealing with new information or situations by labeling them good or bad, right or wrong, true or false. We want fast and decisive action to relieve our stress. But snap judgments in difficult times can put you on a dead-end road. Thinking that you are right, you keep doing what you’ve always done: the problem continues, frustration mounts, stress levels rise, and you double down on what you’ve always done. You can see where all that will land you!

Not anymore! Here’s where thinking gray and free[ii] comes into the picture.

When asked, leaders and managers often say that they try to “consider all the options” before reaching a difficult decision. Steven Sample disagrees. They may consider all their options, but do so within the constraints of their current thinking patterns and approaches. Learning to think gray and free is “an unnatural act” that forces you to remain unresolved and open to fresh solutions beyond your comfort as a way to tap into unused cognitive pathways. That’s what can lead to your greatest insights, free you from the bounds of convention, and allow your natural creativity and intellectual independence to shine. As you move beyond the temptation to plow ahead and fix things quickly, you will also see more clearly what matters – and doesn’t.

Sample’s favorite way to stimulate that kind of thinking is to contemplate problems from absolutely outrageous positions and in impossible ways. Literally!  The process of arriving at his highly successful patent design for a dishwasher control reads like something from a Charlie Chapin movie: Sample crawled on the ground to contemplate the controls from different angles and forced himself to imagine the dishwasher was being controlled by a French horn, sofa, ladybug, electrons, hay bale, and more. This thinking was so difficult that he could only sustain it for about ten minutes at a time. But after a few of these thinking sessions, he suddenly could see in his mind’s eye the complete circuit design – and a way to do it he had never contemplated before.

Innovative ideas come when you challenge your assumptions and allow yourself to revel in blue-sky moments when anything is possible.

Steven Sample used various techniques to stretch his capacities to think gray and free. Two favorites are described below[iii]. Try one!

Resist the temptation for binary thinking: Force yourself to read an article, listen to a news report, or engage in a conversation with another and suspend all judgments: don’t believe or disbelieve, or classify anything as right or wrong. Listen and keep telling yourself, “that’s really interesting.” If you find you can’t, then write down your first impression about the matter, and force yourself to not think about it until a later time (or ever again). Training your mind to “bend over backwards by thinking gray with respect to a few everyday matters” is an excellent way to overcome your natural inclinations to speed judge and to think right-wrong/yes-no.

Contemplate the outrageous together: Bring a group of people together who have widely varying perspectives and a common goal. Ask each individual to propose an “off-the-wall idea” for achieving the goal, with the proviso that every other person in the group must respond with at least two reasons why the idea will work. There is benefit in forcing yourself to learn to think positively and deeply about an idea you’d rather quickly reject.

Great leaders think is broad, deep, and creative ways.  How can you expand your capacities to do the same?  

[i] http://amorebeautifulquestion.com/einstein-questioning/#jp-carousel-4256

[ii] Steven B. Sample (2008). “Thinking Gray and Free.” In Gallos, J. V. (Ed.) Business Leadership. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

[iii] The ideas in this blog are adapted from the skills tutorial appearing in Part II of Lee G. Bolman and Joan V. Gallos (2016). Engagement: Transforming Difficult Relationships at Work. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.